This is me, angry. Angry me. Why?
Because ever since I got back from Australia/NZ, I've had tons of ideas and inspirations, and tons of things I've wanted to accomplish. Huge things. Exciting things! But I'm fucking void of the ability to do any of it. I feel like when I was seeing mountains, ocean, and new critters every day along with meeting new people and watching a new landscape go by I was stoked as shit to sit down and draw for hours at a time. Graphite and dreamy drawings oozed from my fingertips, and I couldn't wait till I got home so I could extend to bigger paper and different media. Sculpture. Oil paint. Charcoal. But now that I have access again, I'm missing everything that gave me the energy to do it. I'm tired all the time, and feel like it's impossible to do anything creative. I go to work, come home, watch movies, go to bed. Or on my days off I go to Value World or putter the day away. So I forced myself to drive to Carmel today to sit in a coffee shop I'd never been to and draw all day, and I've done that. But I have the head and first three legs done of a 5" grasshopper commission, and it's 3:35. I've been here since noon. Pathetic.
SOMETHING BRING ME ENERGY AGAIN.
And I don't mean fucking coffee.
